November 2, 2009

Damn it’s November already.

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I hate regrets.

Especially the ones that comes back to bite you in the ass years later.

October 28, 2009

I can't tell if I'm just very stubborn or very persistent. I can't seem to be able to change any part of my personality or beliefs. It feels like everyone else has come to college and changed their whole persona. I've seen this happen to several people already who just don't seem to be the same as the person I met when we first got here. But I on the other hand remains the same in nearly every aspect. Hm. Can't quite figure this one out....

October 25, 2009

Why is it so hard to let go of the past?

I have spent a year trying to convince myself that I was perfectly fine just forgetting about everything. But honestly, I can’t help but to keep going back and trying to remember how it felt to be happy.

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College is tough. There’s much more work than I would like and it seems that everything we do is significant. There’s no messing around and there’s just so much stress to have to succeed on each assignment for each class. There’s just so much room for failure. I’m not sure if I can gauge how I’m handling all this yet.

People who say that one of the toughest things about college is being able to manage your time. I think they’re wrong. There’s not much need to manage your time because your weekdays and Sundays include class, homework, and sleep. You really have no choice.

Needless to say, while I am enjoying this experience for the most part, senior year of high school has been the best year of my life and I wish a lot that I can relive it; not just because of the much relaxed coursework, but because of the fun times I had and friendly bonds I made.

September 21, 2009

I miss home.

September 1, 2009

It’s almost time to go.

Things I’m going to miss:

1. Homemade Chinese food
2. My bed
3. My yogi bear cub
4. Driving my yogi bear cub
5. Playing catch with my brother
6. Late night hangouts
7. Not having to worry about my basic needs (i.e. food, clothing)
8. Familiarity and comfort
9. Not needing to worry about certain decisions
10. Everyone I have known and grown up with over the past 18 years

Here.We.Go.

August 22, 2009

Throughout my whole life, the longest that I’ve spend away from home was the two weeks I spent in Italy. Ten days from now, I’ll be loading my car and getting ready to leave home for good. I can’t say that I’ll miss this place terribly, because as of right now, I cannot wait to get out of here. Maybe at some point next week, it will really hit me that this is no longer my home for the majority of the year. It is kind of strange that as I now look around my room, a lot of my belongings are already packed away and ready to be moved. There is definitely a sense of excitement as I pack my clothes and electronics into suitcases and boxes. There is also a growing sense of uncertainty as it gets closer and closer to college. I’m sure that these are all normal feelings for a college-bound 18 year old who is truly stepping out of a comfort zone for the first time. It feels strange that I am already sitting here trying to formulate my first college essay and attempt to kick start these next few years with something impressive. I honestly wish I knew what to expect of the other students and what the professors expect of me. By the end of high school, I had a strong understanding of what quality of work teachers expected of me and how my work would compare to my peers. Now I have to start this whole process over again and it’s really an uncomfortable situation not knowing whether or not my work is good enough.

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Many people have already left for college. It’s really sad having to say goodbye and seeing the people that have been around throughout the past several years gone. I know for a fact that all my friends are absolutely brilliant in all different ways. I hope that everyone ends up finding something they want to do and succeed in these endeavors. It’s exciting to know that we are the future of society and hopefully some of us make it to the top. It’ll be pretty cool to see someone I know become well known for achieving something great one day. Good luck, guys.

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While it’s not quite the end of the summer, I must say that his has been the best ever. Italy was just a blast and there’s nothing else I can really say about that trip besides what’s already been said. Since I got back home, there have rarely been days that I have wanted to die because of boredom. Every other summer had seemed too long and needed to end by the middle of August. It is really funny and odd that has a high school graduate, some of the most fun I had this summer seemed like stupid and uneventful gatherings.

• I can’t say enough about how much four friends, a basement, and a ton of Nerf guns can be. I’m not sure how many more times I’ll have the opportunity to have a Nerf gun war again.
• My friends and I have talked about playing Mahjong for a while now. It finally happened. We almost seemed like old, Asian ladies, but playing for hours until 2AM with friends is something I could do over and over. Here’s to many more Mahjong game nights.
• Mafia is a relatively complicated game. Everyone seems to have their own rules and rarely do we all agree on what is right and what is wrong. Naturally, this has resulted into many failed attempts… until now. Who knew that mafia can become so intense? It was thought-provoking, competitive, and challenging. We applied strategies and some good lying skills. While it's doubtful that games of mafia this good could be replicated over and over, it’ll be worth trying again in the future.
• There’s nothing like movie nights, relaxing poolside, or just conversing in someone’s basement. Times like these are going to make me miss my friends so much.

Well…my next post could possibly be about my first experiences as a college student. Hopefully I get some good stories to tell.

August 01, 2009

I am going to be so screwed if/when I have a daughter in the future. When I’m teaching tennis, it’s just so difficult for me to be remotely mean to the girls, whereas I flip a shit on all the boys. So my daughter is going to end up being a little princess and I’m going to give her everything. Awesome.

Anyway, teaching tennis is actually really fun. And I’m starting to like children more; the ones who listen to what I say and improve, at least. Or maybe it’s just me getting older.

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As much as I am nervous, I’m starting to get more and more excited for college.