March 8, 2011

The day college started, I began believing that once I achieve happiness in my career and am fulfilled in that sense, everything else should fall into place. Sticking to the “plan” has been nothing less than a grueling effort. I took some time away from it last year, hoping to give the “fun” stuff of college a shot, and came away unsatisfied. Through it all, I have yet to find out where I belong. Trying to be a college student just felt like a sad effort and terribly hypocritical as I criticize those who fall into that lifestyle. Yet, sitting here today, I continue to question myself if pushing myself to the max is worth it.

Putting myself through this has left me feeling disconnected to the world. I don’t give a shit about the people around me for the most part and the things they do with their lives would be a major distraction for me to pay any attention to. Strangely, I’ve found myself to be more of a free spirit. I want to do everything on my own, and not have to be held back by another person. I am obligated to care about only my own well-being. Even worse, I don’t feel happy spending time with most people anymore. It almost always seems like a waste of time. I don’t gain any marginal value from it, so why bother?

So anyway, back to the point of this rambling. My thoughts are that a fruitful, happy career will lead to good things in all other aspects. The people I mesh best with are those who have similar interests and have similar goals in mind as I do. It would behoove me to get myself into my desired position (investment banking analyst for me) and be around these people basically around the clock. And in turn, being around these people would result in being happy elsewhere.

It all comes down to this. When analyzing an investment, you have to look at your horizons; how long down the line do you expect this investment to be earning a return. In this case, I am working towards a successful future 20-, 30-, 60- or more years down the line in all aspects of life. This requires putting down the work and making this sacrifice.

I think this makes sense.

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Just another explanation about why I do why I do. I get questioned about this a lot by pretty much everyone.