February 6, 2009 - Most Eventful Day of My Life

Crazy.
I have never done so much in one day. It was a really enjoyable day. I had been excited for this day for a while, but I didn't think it'd be this eventful.
I just wish that everyone would stop thinking that everyone hates each other or actually hating each other and not letting them know. Or some variation of hating and assuming. It drives me insane. And it makes me really not be able to wait to go to college and get away from all of it.
But then again, I guess this is all part of the fun. Seriously, I feel like just out of this group of friends, we can make a TV show. If someone can really look deep into each little partition or group of people and all the interactions, it would be incredibly interesting.
So anyhow, I guess that's a part of what makes each day so fun, even if it does annoy me. Anyway. Here goes today's rundown of events: school, lunch, mall, hospital, random stores, tennis, gong show, Vin's, dinner. Honestly, each one of those felt like a day. And I cannot remember going to school at all.
Going shopping (kind of) with Jackie today made me wonder why guys hate shopping so much. I really don't mind it. I'm not going to go shopping over playing tennis or something, but it could be turned into a fun activity I suppose.
The hospital. I'm really upset that we didn't go the past few years. We didn't see too much today, but what I did see makes me want to push even harder to help out. I cannot relate at all with the people who were in some devastating injury or born with diseases, but just the fact that they can keep moving on with their lives, try to get better and do the best they can to live the same life they had before, I respect them. When I think about what I would do if I were to lose a leg or an arm, I realize that I would not want to live anymore. I would have nothing to live for. The things that I love doing, I can't do anymore. But there are people out there who actually suffer through this and are able to move on and do their best to the things they loved doing before. Maybe I'm rambling, but this really is how I feel.
Visiting the hospital was also really nice in that now when I think about the hospital, I don't think about it being a Key Club fundraiser. I think about all the children there, the staff, the families of the patients. There's so much more meaning to it. Hopefully I'll be able to do something good for them soon.
Tennis. I dislike children who seem nice and quiet and well behaved (I dislike most of them in general, but this especially), and once they know you better, they start acting up. They need to realize that they're not funny. DEATH.
The GONG SHOW. It was pretty epic. It made me feel depressed that I don't have any presentable talents such as singing or dancing. But it's okay. It's nice to watch and listen and enjoy. I'm really proud of Tiff and Lil and Christina and Titas and everyone else who performed. :-) Sweet job!
And then there was dinner, where I felt like everyone was really tired and somewhat on the cranky side. But s'all good.
I didn't have a minute's worth of free time today. Literally. But it was great.
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Scratch what I said yesterday about hitting a wall on the concert. I felt like within a day, all of that turned and there's just so much more hope for it to happen. And when it does, it's going to be big. We're going to make a difference. And it'll be legendary.
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I saw this quote from Yankee's reliever Brian Bruney: "I thought it was time to figure things out and really do what I know I can do. I don't want to be one of those up-and-down guys, great one day and horrible the next. I want to be consistently good."
I can't even remember exactly why this quote felt so meaningful when I first read it, but it's good. It shows growth. It shows new-found maturity. I think I'm at the point where I'm almost able to figure some things out and once I do, it'll be good for me and who I become.
I guess one of these changes is, as I was talking to Tiff about earlier, that I stopped caring about what people think of me. And quite honestly, it's been one of the greatest realization/change that I have made. I can be more free. Be who I want to be and not who I think other people want to be. It's like breaking out of a shell and being who I really am. And it's made me feel much better about myself.
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Alright, that's all for now.

February 5, 2009

It's been kind of slow lately. Without all that homework and college apps and school stress (I actually think the lack of stress is helping me do better in school...odd), I really should find something new to do. I'm not sure what though. I've been spending a lot more time lately working out (running two to three miles a day on the treadmill, push ups, sit ups, etc.) but that's not really enough. I need to find something of substance to occupy my time. Something else that I can do without feeling like it's purposeless. This will be less of a problem once the tennis season comes, which I can't wait for. I really should start practicing. Being in shape doesn't help my game much. Yeah, I'm going to get on that.
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We're going to visit Children's Specialized Hospital tomorrow. I'm actually kind of excited. We've donated a decent amount of money to them over the years and it'd be nice to put a face to the name. Jackie and I are making cards for the kids there later. Fun stuff.
It's strange how Key Club's recently shot itself up my list of priorities. I mean, I've always been dedicated to it and wanted to do everything to make it better, but recently, I have been really want to do more, go beyond the normal. I don't lie when I write about how much Key Club has changed me and made me grow over the past four years in scholarship and college essays. It's just lately, I have wanted to make myself more useful to the community. This may sound selfish, but it makes me feel better knowing that I'm not only always taking from everyone. I've come to a point in my life when I realized I need to give back. In a way, I'm also trying to prove to myself that I'm not that heartless person everyone thinks I am and also that I can be a good leader when I dedicate myself to it.
I feel like this concert we're trying to do is starting to hit a wall. The bands are coming along, but the provisions we need to meet seem out of our reach. But then again, this concert was supposed to go well beyond our reach. I'm not going to stop trying until I get a definitive "no."
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I can't wait for baseball season to start. It'll give me something to watch at nights. And hopefully I'll be in a real fantasy baseball league this year. That should be fun.