February 17, 2009

I think I'm going to do it. I have no confidence that it'll work out well, but I think it's time to try. If I get a "no," then I'll know for sure to that it's time to move on for good. That'd probably be better for me to know anyway. To always be guessing is pretty painful; having to try to figure out what she's feeling or thinking every time I say or do something hurts whenever I realize that I could be offering myself a ton of false hopes. And if I get a "yes," then I can't imagine how happy I'd be after years of this chase. Now I just need to find the right time to do it. Maybe I should just go spontaneous; just let the question fly when the right moment seems to come.
It really is about time.

I'll try
-Barney Stinson, HIMYM

February 15, 2009

So those hints that they drop. Why can't they be more obvious? Ugh, why am I giving myself false hope anyway?
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I have a, probably irrational, anger towards him. Mainly for what he's doing to her and also for his response to everything. I find it hard to believe that a person who had supposedly given his heart and soul could let a stupid mistake such as this end everything. And then some of the things he apparently said and asked of her afterward just bugs me in that it seems so disrespectful, inconsiderate, and and simply dick. To me, he seems to have become nothing more than just another guy. She doesn't think so, and since she obviously knows him much better then I'll take her word for it. I just really don't want him to hurt her anymore.
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It is amazing how much drama planning a ski trip can cause. Sigh.

February 9, 2009

So after "the breakup," I told myself to be less clingy. To give people more space. To not let my infatuations run too wild. No one wants to be suffocated; it's not the recipe to be like...by you, which apparently is what I want, or anyone else.
But now this past week, I've again been doing the same thing that I've always done. And I'd think that I must have been pretty annoying. I'm sorry.
It's undeniable that somehow or another you're the one I can't get over. I guess that could get annoying.